7/18/2008 – Bittersweet reunion

My oldest daughter brought he rson Aidan & my son Jacob to visit.  It was great to see them (obviously) and to get totalk face to face.  The visiting room is predtty laid back.  It reminds me of a school cafeteria.  We can sit by each other, hold hands and the little kids can sit in my lap.  If you follow a few simple rules things should generally go well.  Everything was great up until the time you have to say good bye.  They go their way and start a 4+ hour drive home & I go my way, back into the prison camp.  I am so thankful for the time I tgot to spend with my family but even so , all I want to do now is go lay in my bunk, turn my face toward the wall and think about my family until I can fall to sleep for a couple of peaceful hours.

P.S – Breanna & Aidan came back again the next weekend.  Bre taught me to play dominos. Aidan had fun knocking them down and I can’t wait to do it again & again & again.

Awakened

Walking alone in a crowd of people I was awakened by the beauty of you.   Softly, I was drawn, towards the mystery.   Eagerly, I pressed, towards the wonder.   Thankfully, I was able, to experience…   The beauty. The passion. The honesty.                                     You…

Another Moment

Another moment that we steal away from the world hoping that no-one will interfere with our escape to paradise…

 

These moments

feel so sacred

so all important

and encompassing

 

How is it then,

that we allow these

to be just moments?

 

Why do we,

abandon paradise,

and rush back

into hell?

 

Alone,

busy,

frustrated,

anticipating

and longing,

       for our next moment…

---

 

In reflecting on this writing I am unable to actually remember the specific inspiration for it. Was it an intimate relationship, a good friend or a special escape with my daughters? I guess it could have been a great book, empowering music or even time with my journal.

 

I wonder what your reaction was as you read it. Moments can be so many different things for so many different people. When you have a chance let me know what your moments are…

Ability

Even the ability…

…to express myself on these sheets of paper, is an incredible and unmerited gift from God. I must endeavor to find out why I have been blessed with this gift and then seek to use it accordingly.

To love my children.

To love my wife.

To go, go, go…all day, all night.

To create.

To destroy.

To fall down and get up…

…all of which I am able to do only because of the extreme grace of God.

Why then the dis-ability…

To want and desire more than any other man (or woman) that I know…

To have to constantly pour water on the flames that burn so fiercely within me…

To be able to successfully navigate paths that most people are not even aware exist…

To abate, dismantle, discount and worse of all – forget the person that I am, the person that I love and admire and desire…

The disability of self-restriction in what would otherwise be a joyously unrestricted, fulfilling and sensuous journey through the remarkable maze of life…

Addictions

One look…and you are gone forever.
One touch… and you will never be the same.
One taste and you are lucky to remember who you are, or why you came.

 Before you start,
I own your mind,
before you finish,
your soul will be mine.

 A consuming fire,
would give you more rest,
I will give you my worst,
and take your best.

 As jealous as anyone,
you have ever seen,
prove your love,
and die for me!

 And die you will,
one way or another.
good-bye father,
good-bye mother.

 Good-bye to all,
that you once held so dear,
good-bye to sanity,
hello to fear.

 One look and you are gone forever,
One touch and you will never be the same,
One taste and you are lucky to remember,

                  Who you are
                                       or why you came.